Tanya O'Debra

...a haven for tender artistic feelings... ...a refuge for tears to be shead... ...poetry... ...suicide...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

...more than this...

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have good news. Good news. I have good news. There is more than this. There is more than just this. There is more than this."

His teenaged voice wavered as he stood clutching a bible with his thumb jammed between the pages. His eyes bounced around the subway car, eventually landing on the floor where they rolled around aimlessly.

"We have a reason to hope. We have a reason to hope. We have a reason to hope."

The teenaged heart stitched awkwardly to an oversized red sleeve did not help the boy hidden under the shirt to sound convinced. His pants drooped under the weight of his sermon. After a few staccato breaths, the young preacher moistened his lips.

"There is a struggle going on inside of us, and that struggle is sin. Jesus Christ is the only man who can help us. He is God's son in human flesh. He came to help humanity. I have a cup of sin, and I want you to take it away from me."

What sins did this boy have? What sins had he imagined? What had caused this young man to try and take the high road from a downtown A train? Desparation radiated from this child of God. For some reason or another, this boy had given up on the here and now in exchange for a salvation that may never come. From 59th Street all the way down to West 4th, he pleaded with strangers to take his cup of sin away from him. He begged us for a shred of purity. Nobody budged.

"There is more than this..."