Tanya O'Debra

...a haven for tender artistic feelings... ...a refuge for tears to be shead... ...poetry... ...suicide...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

...give me my baby back...

I just saw "Me and You and Everyone We Know". My favorite part was when the cutest little boy I've ever seen was telling his older brother what to type for cybersex. He said, "I'll poo into your asshole and you'll poo it back into my asshole, and we'll poo back and forth forever with the same poo." I felt an overwhelming sense of love for that little six year old boy and I yelled to the screen, "That's my baby!" My baby illustrated his point like this:

))<>((

You'll notice that those are two butts pooing back and forth forever. Now I have to live the rest of my life knowing that my real baby is in a movie and I'll never be able to get him out of the movie and into my arms. It made me really sad. I miss my baby.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

...sexercise...

Here are the links to my articles:

Get Pitied

Stuff You Need

Unfortunately, the editing in the first one made the first paragraph practically unreadable. Oh, well.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

...the world is steve's ashtray...

Karma Is Real

One time, I went out to eat with my boyfriend, Steve. As we were leaving the restaurant, I noticed that Steve had stolen an ashtray. I asked him to put it back. He refused.

As we walked back to the car, I explained karma to him. I told him that everything you do comes back to you threefold, and something three times as bad as stealing an ashtray would soon plague him. It may not happen immediately, but it would definitely happen.

Lucky for me, karma had been listening. When we got to the car the battery was dead because Steve had left the lights on. I laughed and shook my head.

“I told you so. You better take that ashtray back.”

Steve argued for a while. We sat with the hazards on. Finally, Steve agreed to take the ashtray back. Just as he resolved to right his wrong, a car pulled up beside us.

“Need a jump?”

Steve looked at me in shock.

“See?”

The woman playing the role of karma gave us a jump. We thanked her, and Steve and I drove around the corner to return the ashtray. The next day I bought Steve a new ashtray to prove that karma works both ways.

If you ever want to freak me out, play the song “Karma Police”. Don’t, actually. I might jump out a window.

“This is what you get when you mess with us…”