Tanya O'Debra

...a haven for tender artistic feelings... ...a refuge for tears to be shead... ...poetry... ...suicide...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

...crystal butthole...

Teenage Witchcraft

I guess I could blame my whole witchcraft phase on my unnatural love of the movie The Craft. Let’s face it. I’m sure that’s what started the whole thing. I’d seen that movie more times than any teenager ought to. And so had all my friends, which was how I got to form a coven so easily. Okay, who doesn’t want magic powers? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I have always wanted magic powers and I still do. As a little girl, I dreamed that I would discover that I was a white witch whose powers would arrive on one birthday or another. As I grew older, that fantasy faded. Until The Craft came into my life.

The Craft made everything seem so full of possibilities. There was Robin Tunney, fresh from Empire Records, a movie my sister Jillian took a little too seriously. You could tell by her newly shaven head. I’m glad I waited to emulate The Craft Robin Tunney, because at least she had a thick head of long hair, even if it was extensions. The Craft told the story of four beautiful high school students who took their lives into their own hands using witchcraft. This sounded like a fine plan to me.

As soon as the idea of having magic powers came back into my head, I did everything in my capabilities to make these powers a reality. I bought every book on witchcraft I could get my hands on and then I began worshipping the goddess like a filthy dirt-loving hippie. I wore pentacles around my neck, burned incense and read tarot cards. I carried bags of rocks everywhere I went, worshipped full moons and meditated. I did everything I possibly could to attain the magical powers that were my birthright. Okay, I still do some of these things. Fuck you. Just because I can’t move things with my mind does not mean that I’m not a little psychic. A little. At least give me that.

My first coven consisted of myself and three other desperate teens in search of one shred of purity in this world. We would drive to Lincoln Hancock Elementary School very late at night to conduct outdoor ceremonies. I liked the trees that surrounded the playground in the back, and I was pretty sure no one would bother us there. We would “call the corners” and “invoke the spirit”, which basically meant that we acknowledged the existence of nature. Watch The Craft and you’ll see exactly what we did. Then we would meditate and basically pray for things. We were white witches, so we cast only good spells. Spells were cast by lighting various candles and meditating, much like church. We once cast a spell for my best friend’s mom to survive cancer. She was supposed to die in a few weeks. After our spell, she lived another year. Maybe there is something to prayer after all.

After I graduated from high school, my coven sort of broke up. I became a solitary witch for a while, which meant that I would practice witchcraft in my bedroom and hope that my mom wouldn’t catch me. Then I discovered witches amongst the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast, with whom I was now consorting. They invited me to a few pagan feasts and I gladly attended. It was then that I began to feel the creepy undertones of the pagan life.

There are a few holidays, or Sabbats as the witches like to call them, that involve sex. I thought that I would someday participate in these ceremonies, but only with someone I loved. Apparently many pagans don’t feel obligated to uphold the spirit of these Sabbats, but rather exploit them for sexual reasons. I sadly disengaged from the new group of pagans and returned to the life of a solitary witch.

In college I gathered a few girls together and we had some very informal ceremonies. I blessed every new dorm we inhabited and I celebrated the moon. We were college women and we were goddesses. It seemed cool at the time.

And then, totally out of nowhere, I just started thinking that it was dumb. Maybe that’s when I officially became a grown-up. I still really want magic powers, though.

4 Comments:

At 2:39 PM, Blogger Stew Ineffectually said...

As a teenager, I couldn’t get behind any magic that didn’t involve twenty-sided dice. Witchcraft always seemed a little too irrational to even fantasize about. Now the Force, that made perfect sense. The Craft vs Star Wars breaks down to a central difference between the sexes. Women want magical power and they want to have a slumber party. Men want magical power and they want to slice up their fathers with a giant phallus.

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger Tanya O'Debra said...

There were a few men involved in witchcraft, but I really think they believed an orgy would break out any minute.

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger Lori Mocha said...

Oh man did I want magical powers growing up.

I also really really hoped I'd find a secret passageway somewhere. I didn't.

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Tanya O'Debra said...

Ooo, me too. No matter how many books I pulled off the shelves, that book case refused to turn around and let me into that secret tunnel.

 

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